FASHION FLASHBACK

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Today, a wall of words…albeit, words of mirth!

Prior to Christmas I was contacted by the Features Editor of Australian shopping bible Shop Til You Drop, Emma Markezic and asked if I’d contribute to a section of the magazine entitled, Fashion Flashback.

Markezic asked that I trawl through the pain (of my many sartorial blunders) and provide 9 to 10 examples of times when fashion defined (or in my case, undermined) my existence.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t blogged this, however I’ve spent four years blogging fashion (on Imelda) and since her acerbic tongue is about to be set loose here, it’s only fair that I share with you, my diabolical life of with(out) fashion…Now, if only there were photographs to accompany the words…

I’m in Year 6 and I start a long and oft delusional struggle to dress myself.

While queuing for the change rooms, I am accosted by a menacing looking Kmart employee who sports a full-face of terracotta coloured foundation. She promptly relieves me of the ‘Dannii for Kmart’ flouro rah-rah / tube top combo and suggests a pair of acid wash jeans and a Hyper-Colour t-shirt would be more appropriate for my end-of-year disco…I want to disagree but her needle thin lips advocate silence.

I’m 14 and in a feeble attempt to usurp my white trash rock roots I hitch my sartorial wagon to two of the early 90’s biggest white elephants, Vanilla Ice and Mc Hammer. Under the sinister hue of the local blue light disco my ladies drop crotch pants from Bobby McGee are passable as Hammertime-hauteness.

I’m 15 and sporting an awkward looking ‘Fresh Prince’ flat top that, when teamed back with an over sized white shirt and with my giant Flava Fla inspired clock (from Prouds the Jeweller), I’m about as gansta as an iced vovo…I’m guessing the Jesus sandals didn’t help!

I’m 16 and after gutter stomping the ghetto out of my wardrobe I realize it’s time to swim with the tide so I embrace metal and thus begin a life long romance with black-on-black and ‘band’ tee’s.

At 20 and after an unexpected windfall, I make my single biggest fashion-related purchase, a $4000 Giorgio Armani suit. I suddenly become a weapon of mass consumption. I lay-by anything that whiffs off Tom Ford’s Gucci and in the process bankroll Wayne Cooper’s (now defunct) BRAVE. At 20 I have 20 suits.

I’m 22 when ironically (since I’ve been working in fashion) I discover FASHION. The Antwerp Six are heralded as fashion royalty and I start worshiping before Ann Demeulemeester’s alter of deconstructed minimalism. Since over lockers are considered démodé I take a razor to my suits and start ‘deconstructing’ my wardrobe to achieve the ‘raw’ seam look!

I’m 23 when Cool Britannia arrives. I buy Levis’ new heavily starched twisted denim and Helmut Lang denim jacket, both feel like you’re wearing cardboard. I watch Sid and Nancy and spend a week’s salary on custom-made wrist cuffs!

I’m 24 and abandon luxury goods for the musky whiff of the Op-Shop. I spend every weekend trawling op-shops and amass an impressive collection of Australiana themed t-shirts and a covetous array of vintage Stubbie Scoops. I’m OK with looking like the illegitimate love child of Alby Mangle and Dame Edna Everage, since at the time I believed this was the zenith of sartorial irony.

I’m 25; the world discovers Hedi Slimane and Slimane discovers indie rock. That I’m still wearing skinny black jeans can be interpreted as either a testament to Slimane’s genius or proof that men’s fashion moves at a glacial pace.

I’m 27 and my hella-impressive 70’s porn star moustache fractures my singular trend approach to fashion. By day I’m a Mediterranean gigolo in heavily embellished pastel toned shirts from AG, slim fitting trousers (also from AG) and Dolce e Gabbana denim loafers. At night it’s ironic white trash trucker caps, spray-on Cheap Monday denim and a ubiquitous Members Only leather bomber.

At 30 Daniel Craig’s 007 inflames my desire for a more dapper and masculine attitude towards dressing. I lose the mo, re-embrace the suit and with the assistance of You-Tube, I learn how to tie a bow tie. Upon taking ownership of a (long desired) white 2-piece suit, custom-made by Arthur Galan, I start to achieve some form of sartorial peace-of-mind until a glass of red wine shatters the tranquility two weeks later.

I’m 31 and conventional wisdom would suggest that buying a gold Comme de Garcon suit isn’t such an astute purchase…I hold the resurgent Aussie dollar responsible.

My style now, best summed up by this anon comment ‘"You look like a f*$#)!ng optical illusion! – but the shoes are killer!’

Comments

[Fashion News]

Just so you know, it is more than possible for you to learn a lot about fashion through a fashion magazine,
=============================
Fashion News

[The Style Tyrant]

huh?

[Fashion Guide]

Eyes have been called the windows of the soul because of how much they communicate. Eyes give your face energy and individuality. They do not have to be a certain size or shape to be considered pretty – all eyes have their own unique beauty. When makeup is applied to look natural it will bring out the eyes true color and enhance the eyes beauty. When you feel good about your makeup you will be more confident and will have one less thing to worry about.

[kanly]

--------
0 He is a very lovable person and very easy to contact, and every ready to help aspiring students. You can also contact him over the mail. Very true that, “Hard work pays”. And our famous researcher is just a perfect example of that.
--------
0 The fake watches also have the same features. They contain exact design. The case and movements are also identical. The individual features of different models are implemented in the fake watches to give a more real look.
--------
Fashion Girl

[kanly]

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15th, 2010 at 6:47 am and is filed under Fashion Online. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.
[url=http://oldfashiongirl.com]Fashion Girl[/url]